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The analogy about parasocial relationships is so good. And I do agree about it not being good for my bones if I weren’t striving for irl relationships, but I honestly feel like it is good for bones while I’m in the process. Kinda like a supplement. Not real food, but helps the real food along.

i was obsessed with this when i was in fourth grade and i’m coming back to say i’m moving in to my dorm in two months WOOOO

The traditional career path really is dead. Personally, I made shift away from traditional jobs to focus on my own research. The result was $1.1M returns in 16 months

I have cleft lip and palate so my face has always looked very different. Over the last few years I have made a pintrest board full of various people who arent heavily glamorized. Some with scars (and cleft lip like me), some with scoliosis (also like me lol), some who are heavily wrinkles ect. I look at this board regularly as an exercise of body nuetrality to equalize all the unattainable photos we see day to day and remind me what people actually look like. Doing this has built a strong ability to appreciate the beauty of features we don't typically call such. Its also helpful to seek out photos of people flaunting their scars. I specifically follow a lot of face equality tags.

i’m a huge revenge bedtime procrastinator, to the point in which I will stay up til ungodly hours even on nights when I know for a fact I need to wake up early the next morning. it’s an act of self-sabotage that comes around most strongly when I’m struggling with some difficult feelings and agitated energy in my body that I wasn’t able to work through during the day… something in my mind just flips and I Cannot get myself to bear the thought of lying still and alone with myself for however long it takes until I fall asleep. i end up doing anything and everything - a lot of scrolling on youtube shorts, but also random productive acts that “justify” my staying awake (such as answering emails but putting them on scheduled send so the recipient doesn’t know when they’re actually being sent from lmao) - to avoid going to sleep. I really want to get better at this! I think this habit makes a big impact on my self esteem because it always ruins the next morning (if not the whole next day), and it feels like an act of rejecting my body and mind’s needs in favor of doing what feels easier - i.e., running from what ails me instead of taking care of myself. honestly, hearing you talk about your revenge bedtime procrastination makes me feel deeply seen and so much better about this habit. I’ve noticed that this is *not* an issue other many ppl seem to have (noticing the look of shock on people’s faces on the rare occasions i’ve revealed what time I was up until has shamed me thoroughly enough to see this as a somewhat niche problem), and hearing someone I respect and admire talk about it so openly really means so much!!! :,) i’m working on the whole self-compassion thing, but when it comes to habits like these that have quite a stronghold over me that i’m really not fond of in myself, it can sometimes feel easier to offer myself grace when I know that i’m not alone in it - and, not only that, that the person in ~revenge bedtime procrastination fellowship~ with me is such a g. thank you kath. wishing you many good nights of sleep and more bedtime trust🤝

i subscribed to your channel ever since I watched your "i no longer aspire to have a career" video. i love it so much. it's so full of wisdom. it's thought-provoking and reflective. i still go back and rewatch it from time to time. i was wondering if you could make a video on the support or resistance you experienced during the period when you quit / since you quit your full time job. i'm especially interested in whether your family had their opinions, and also the money side of things, like how the finances work out in the end. i am hoping to take a long sabbatical from work, like a gap year, but i worry about my parents' reactions (i'm asian) and my finances. i worry i will use up my savings, and hence delay my retirement by doing so.

cycling through my relationship with working out and eating nourishing food as it relates to fat loss. over and over and over and over and over again. i reach some epiphany about a new way to approach it over and over again, trying to be gentle with myself, trying to go slow, trying to build trust, coming from love for my body instead of hatred for my body, etc etc. but at 28 it still feels like my teenage self is running the show and that i will always end up falling back to the same patterns of feeling hopeless/defeated/self-hatred mid-journey and giving up for no conceivable reason. it’s unbelievably frustrating and makes me feel trapped and shackled to my lifelong patterns even though objectively i know so much better. the gap is driving me crazyyyyyyy

pal, let's not even start discussing Tinder ...

I had severe stomach issues and vomiting episodes, weight lose, hair loss, dizziness , rapid heart rate , panic attacks due to graves took them 8 years to figure it out

can you write a book for one of your next employment endeavors? i would buy it so quickly🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

im 34 now and did vlogging in 2008-2011 during my loneliest college years. i think you’re right in that having someone to talk to about a lot of your thoughts changes that desire so much, because i met my spouse in 2011 and i haven’t done any videos since. i don’t have many friendly acquaintances but do have a few extremely close friendships including my bff from high school who has a kid within a year of mine, so we wake at 4am and text a lot lol yeah idk, i can imagine myself struggling if i didn’t have my partner and close friendships. it really grounded me in terms of my goals in life and stuff

So in regards to closing the gap between knowing better and doing better, there's a card spread you can do with the Realest Oracle deck (the how to is in the book that comes with it) that helps you to bring the gap between your conscience mind (knowing better) and unconscious mind (often governs the actions we actually take). Truth be told I am yet to try that particular spread, but I've found the cards generally to be so useful in helping me to listen to my inner wisdom while navigating life, so maybe it's something you could try. Also, I'm turning 30 in 2 months and I remember having the biggest freakout about getting older and not feeling like I was ready when I was 28. Ironically now I am actually on the cusp of my 30s, I really don't feel bothered by it at all, whereas a lot of my peers feel the way I did at 28. I think what you're going through now will ultimately lead you to a place of self acceptance. Things will start feeling better, I promise.

14:57 wow apple really released the scheduled send feature on imessage just for you

Gentle productivity - reminds me of another favorite RUclipsr you could check out! Zoe Pritchard - she uses the phrase gentle productivity as her work mindset and she created a planner to help with it :)

So resonating!! super appreciate the way you articulated this!

Damn but your frenetic mind chatter seems like it would very difficult for you to deal with day to day...

as an almost 35 year old, I was practically yelling out loud NO! that gap has not closed! to your last question 🤣 it’s an endless cycle of not being “enough”. at least that’s what it comes down to for me. the awareness and desire to change, to improve yourself can be enough. the trying and doing your best is enough. despite the cycles, with each year I gain a tiny bit more compassion, love, and trust for myself. at least I like to think that’s what happening haha. Thank you for sharing these thoughts that I relate to so deeply. I appreciate you 💞

Haven't even watched a full minute of this yet but I am HERE for the Lincoln Park content! <3 my girl Bruun Idun!

I clicked on this video because of the title and it resonating so much with my thoughts (knowing better but not doing better). My screen time is also around 5-6 hours not counting my 9-5 which is all online. I’ve been beating myself up lately for not being disciplined and staying off my phone more but I also don’t think disciplined is a word I’d use to describe myself and I don’t really want to be disciplined? Kind of like you said. I hope it comes with time I’m 23 and mostly just trying to make sure I just keep doing things I love in the real world (not online world) and this video was so refreshing. I’ve been a long time subscriber but don’t watch every video🙈 but keep being you this was so comforting and refreshing compared to a lot of online content.

what office chair do you have there sorry

I struggle with revenge bedtime procrastination too and lately, it’s just been getting worse and worse. I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts about discipline and self-compassion! I definitely struggle to be self-compassionate when it comes to this, especially because I was doing better for a while but it got bad again. I love the reframing of discipline as trust, I can definitely relate to that and I’m going to try to apply it to my revenge bedtime procrastination rather than shaming myself

this title hit me like a ton of bricks - i’m 4 months into being 20 and they have been the 4 most frustrating months because i’ve been trying to shake unhealthy habits (like dependence on weed) from my teen years and what’s frustrating is that i’ve gone through these motions so many times, just to end up where i thought i had guided myself out from. and i’m just realising that being an adult is being at war with the things that used to bring you comfort but now just bring more struggle and displeasure. and also realising that how no matter how intelligent you are and how much useful knowledge you have, nothing will get you out a pattern of self-sabotage or self-destruction except brute force; like a life-changing event or the utter lack of joy that the discomfort of change finally seems inviting enough. like i said, i am fresh in this decade of life so to see how inevitable it is that as soon as we are adults and become conscious of how our choices impact us, makes me sad but also relieved that it’s the game of life that is unlikely to change so at least knowing that, i can start familiarising myself with it. love from cape town, SA🇿🇦

i recently shaved my head and felt weird about it at first and started telling myself that my appearance is "none of my business" and i gotta say, it's been revolutionary

that interlude was SO beautiful omg

Lollll you’re a charlatan at midnight. I struggle w the bedtime revenge procrastination too, that’s when I hop on Reddit and read about reality tv shows in watching lmao. My screen time hovers around 6 and it always perplexes me. I spend quite a bit of screen time corresponding w my long distance bf but the rest feels like a black box. I journaled again for the first time since January tho so progress being made in the real world, touching paper, etc. I don’t have a close friends story but I barely post on IG tbh.

my screen time just on my phone is like 10-11 hours but i’m hoping the majority of that is coming from me putting on youtube videos and listening to them while i’m on my computer at work.. not that there’s a difference which screen is consuming your time

I SO fucking relate to you. The sad reality is that it is easier to speak to a camera and people in the community and feel understood than talk to your friends when they can't relate or understand your life, especially in your late twenties.

love these thoughts on discipline and willpower and trust. I want to be trustworthy to myself and others <3

every time you post, I feel called out - and RUclips will recommend it to me indefinitely because it knows I will eventually watch a re-binge your channel🥺

Love the acoustic UMO song used at the end of the vid! From New Zealand Aotearoa x

This resonates so hard on a day where I just let my partner down for completely preventable reasons. I know better so I assume I will do it, but I need to put actual Shan gems in place to actually do things!

[Checking the nutrition facts label again] Well, I've been considering this my desingated nutritious snack for my revenge bedtime

"Closing the gap" is wishful thinking. The die is cast well before 30. The only thing that changes with time, is your capacity for grace and acceptance.

A new katherout upload?! Noo way

Schedule the text! Hold down on the send button and then set a later time.

There are no closing the gaps only a continuation of the journey. Life ebbs and flows once you think you’ve mastered one thing another comes along and you begin down that path and onto the continuation of the life journey.

I love you so much. Never stop being yourself. Your willingness and steadfastness in your committment to your values is inspiring and soulful. You're a grounding force in this crazy, yet beautiful, world.

I have 34 people in my close friends

Hiiii, these were such interesting thoughts that I watched this twice. Thank you for sharing your thoughts! You think very similarly to me so it's fun to hear what's on your mind.

Love the way your brain works, I always gain some new insights or inspirations from your videos. Something I keep cycling through even though I know better is drinking. I keep using alcohol to overcome my social anxiety and shame, but I'm not actually overcoming anything--the alcohol is. And I feel more anxious and ashamed the next day because alcohol literally raises your cortisol levels, and any strides I made in social connection or self-expression are undercut by doubting the authenticity and worrying that I embarrassed myself because I was too drunk. I really want to let it go and give myself permission to show up in a fun, heart-forward way even while me and everyone else is sober Btw, I don't see a link in the description for that zine mentioned at the end of the video

What do you have on your face

I use the web for fun and all, and I never really understood parasocial relationships much tbh. I have a couple of friends, but I do feel behind in life, that i recently lost my job due to layoffs, and living at home, but it's not the end all be all. I turned 28 a couple days ago, and I believe that life will be great!! Good Video Katherout!!

Your bedtime scenario is my morning routine scenario REGULARLY… gorl get out of your damn bed on time and begin your day

Been telling myself the same exact thing with going to bed!!!!!!! Right there with ya kath

41 here, it does get easier to do what you know you should be doing the older you get, mostly because the list of things you actually care about doing gets smaller and smaller the better you understand yourself and life.

and this is why I adore you.

I think a video on the phrasing "capturing my life" would be an interesting extension to this; Do you really "capture life" by recording it, or by living it in the moment? What does it mean to capture your life?

I have about 30-35 people in my close friends but they rarely all see whatever the story is. I decided to have a 90’s summer that is super slow and part of that is sending snail mail to 5 of my friends all summer. Whether they write back doesn’t really matter because it brings me joy. lol. But I’ve sent the first one and included old school friendship bracelets that I made in each one. I’m going to include something small I make with each letter. The next round will be origami bookmarks :) And then scrunchies! And little paintings… etc.. Editing to add: I’m going to be 42 in august and I don’t think that gap between knowing and doing better closes too much in most people but maybe for some areas of your life but not for others. For example, you might know the food you eat causes bad side effects but it tastes really good so you still eat it sometimes. At the same time you’ve learned certain personality traits are toxic so you now steer clear when there are red flags. It’s a balance… like anything else. But no matter how old you get, you’ve never been that age before and that goes for everyone. The older I get the more I realize we’re ALL just winging it.

ngl the best youtubers as a viewer are those who are kind of loners and are starved of connection so they can successfully vlog to the camera like a friend lol

only 3 people in my close friends :) Legit the only people I trust with all the details of my life haha